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Maintenance Magazine #23: PES2020 IMs and Legends Round-up

Hello again my dear readers, it's been a while! Hope all of you are well and safe!
PES2020 had been a downward slope for me overall, with the lack of offline event variety and legend releases being the real deal-breakers that almost prompted me to quit the game outright. Thankfully KONAMI fixed the latter half of the problem at the end of the season, sparked a wave of excitement for me and I got my hands on a few good legend players. To give credit where it's due, IMs were a touch of genius from KONAMI, as I believe they bring a nice balance between the dynamics of F2P and P2P. Moreover, permanently setting the conditions of legends and IMs to B is simply fantastic. Some of you in the sub believe legends have hidden stats; well, that's your hidden stats right there.
With PES2020 coming to a close, I think it's the time again to re-re-review every legend in my collection (I really hope you guys don't find these boring tbh, but I do really enjoy reviewing my legends) and give proper recognition to the new legends/IMs I gained. The departing Inter / Milan legends also deserve a proper send-off.
To those unfamiliar with my work, my review is purely subjective and your mileage may vary. The effectiveness of a player depends highly on the playstyle, formation and his teammates. Nevertheless, I rate players using a tier system (S > A > B > C etc.). I've also included reference ratings of popular base players for comparison and calibration. Anyone can compare stats on PESDB; in contrast, I try to focus less on the stats and convey how the player feels in actual gameplay.
For my regular followers, I'll avoid repeating myself as much as possible, keeping it short for old players unless I have new opinions about them. Some of you might find my reviews and ratings of certain players to have changed quite significantly this time, mostly due to difference in gameplay of PES2020 vs. previous iterations (e.g. nerfed skill moves, rise of finesse dribbling, nerfed passes etc). Here's a tiny tease to treat the fans: previously exclusive to Cruyff and Vieira, the S+ tier club now tentatively has 5 members! What are their identities? What's with the "tentativeness"? Read on to find out!
An important caveat is that I am a largely F2P & offline player. This means I have very limited access to coins and thus I do not own many IMs / coin-exclusive new legends. Needless to say I have not been lucky in the European legends free pulls, but I've emptied the latest box draws to get the most out of them. Sorry for the incomplete list but that's just the way I roll.
Just to be clear on my stance, I am all for the P2P exclusivity of IMs. In fact, let P2P have coin-exclusive box draws to make sure people get what they want without having to spend a mortgage. I just wish KONAMI can allow the use of GP in legend agents (non-guaranteed draws), so the F2P population has limited but farmable access to any future new legends released.
And without further ado, let the reviews begin!
Unless stated otherwise, all players reviewed below are legends and the reference players are base players. IMs will be explicitly stated. All players are rated by their performances at max level.
GK (reference - - Alisson: A)
TOLDO: A
I used to think of him quite poorly, and quite honestly he still sucked for me earlier this year. Not until recently when I played him again for this review when he finally started to play quite well, using his towering height to his full advantage. As if a last hurrah before getting removed.
Despite all that, I'm not unhappy to see him go, especially since I've got three copies of him waiting to Digivolve into Casillasmon. By the way, KONAMI, I have 3 Toldos and 4 Kahns in my squad. Can I have other non-dupe outfield players instead?
CECH: S- (tentative)
I got Cech, along with several others on this list, very recently in the current box draw. Due to my limited experience of these players, I felt uneasy assigning a definitive rating to them. On the other hand, I didn't want to leave them out as I wanted to help players make their decision on whether to go for them or not. Hence I settled on the tentative rating and review, which should be treated more appropriately as my first impressions.
Cech has been stopping all kinds of shots for me. Powerful long rangers, point-blank first-timers, crosses, he's got them all covered. He's not the best when it comes to rushing out in one-on-ones, he manages to react in about half of those instances. Also he's dreadful against free kicks. His Low Punt skill, quite rare among legend GKs, come in handy quite often.
KAHN: S-
Der Titan has considerably improved compared to PES19, thanks to the buff to defensive GK playstyle. He has been my starting GK for almost all-year. From experience he makes around two-thirds of shots on target against Superstar COM by my estimation, which is not bad at all! Kahn's strength lies in the fact that he's equally good staying on the line and rushing out (he charges at an astonishing pace too!), but the player has to consciously make the right decision. The more I use him, the better I get at noticing the subtle differences between shots that require rushing and shots that don't.
CB (reference - - Koulibaly: A; VVD: S-)
SAMUEL: C+
In this day and age, where you find featured Mbappes, Ronaldos and Rashfords in more teams than they are not, ol' Samuel is simply too slow to keep up. Pairing him with a defensively minded (non build-up) & fast CB might help slightly, or he might work with triple/quadruple CB formations, but that just goes to show how independently unreliable he is.
Adieu, Samuel. Unfortunately you will not be missed.
CAMPBELL: S-
This ex-GB may be upgraded to BB, but his in-game performance seems slightly worse than PES19, when he used to be nigh unstoppable in the air. Again, this may be due to the opponents he's against (looking at you featured Ronaldo/Lewa). That said, with his decent speed and tackling, he's still one of the better defenders in the game.
BERGOMI: S
Got this underrated gem in the European legends draw and has grown quite attached. His skillset is frankly quite extraordinary. He is one of the fastest CBs out there, which makes him excellent in tracking back and covering for the defence. It also makes him an excellent full back as well. His defensive ability is solid, with strong positioning and physicality. He scores additional points for breathtaking long-rangers, even netting several match-winners for me which I'd never forget. Tackles are not first-rate, which is his major setback.
Despite my short time with him, he is one of the three players whose departure greatly saddens me. And the saddest part? I already own all the possible replacements that we know of so far.
MALDINI: S
Still remember getting him in PES18 and he single-handedly revolutionized my defence. The most all-rounded and versatile out of all my defenders, he always finds a place in any defensive line-up. You can literally pair him with any other CB and he'll play well. I was scared af by the thought of losing him but thankfully he survives the snap.
PUYOL: S
This is the second (and final) player I managed to get from the free European legends agents. He's the only player I hoped to get and I was lucky to get him for free. Growing up watching invincible Barca made me respect him as a player. He's also the closest I can get to legendary Chelsea captain Terry, both in terms of playing style and aura of captaincy.
Digressions aside, Puyol is magnificent in the game. He has one of the highest accelerations among CBs, and together with his positioning he is rarely off his mark. His tackles, particularly his standing tackles, are absolutely the best, even ahead of Maldini. Practically steals the ball anywhere near him. He is also majestic in the air and a constant corner threat. Could not have been more happy with him.
BECKENBAUER: S+ (tentative)
Before I go on, I should really stress that I only obtained him for a week, but what I've seen so far has already convinced me to place him in the S+ tier.
In defence, he is performing at the same level as Maldini. Clean tackles, majestic headers and plenty of interceptions due to his masterful ability to read the game. His speed is top-notch among CBs, and he's been showcasing his ability to track back and defend. He's also surprisingly good in the air.
What makes him unique is his offensive capabilities. Even when playing as CB, he charges forward aggressively, with a frequency unmatched by any other so-called offensive CBs like Pique or Ramos. The CB closest to him in offence is perhaps Bergomi, in terms of their finishing and speed, but that's where the similarities end. He has an acute positional sense, pinpoint passing and reliable goalscoring. To put it simply, Beckenbauer has the complete skill set of an AMF.
His 85-rated stamina is often drained around the 80-minute mark, but that is just a testament to the amount of ground he covers. Like his German compatriot Matthaus, his Fighting Spirit skill also helps keeping his performance consistent until the final whistle. I suppose the only problem with Der Kaiser is that playing him in CB is putting his attacking talent to waste, and when he joins the attack there's no guarantee he can make it back in time to defend every threat. For these reasons, he is exceptional at DMF/CMF. I've yet to experiment playing him in other positions like RB/AMF, but I'm pretty sure he excels in whatever position he's being deployed.
LB/RB (reference - - TAA: A)
LIZARAZU: A (tentative)
So far he has been fairly consistent in defence, despite his unimpressive defensive stats; his pace and stamina makes up for his lack of tackling and interception abilities. Nothing to complain about his offensive game either. A solid alternative to Carlos given the limited choice of legendary full-backs.
CARLOS: A
The Brazillian full-back has been solid for me. His work-rate has been excellent, but lately he's been the sort of silent contributor that's hard to notice or appreciate. A tackle here, a run there, but he's not really doing a lot in terms of attacking and crosses. His presence is noticeable but not dazzling. He is also a quality LMF. As for free kick takers, I have better choices.
ZANETTI: S
He is a rock-solid defender who actively charges forward when there's space available, but also knows when to fall back and cover defensive gaps. His endless stamina befits his nickname of El Tractor. His crossing is also impeccable.
I'll likely be getting Cafu as a replacement, but Zanetti's imminent departure from the franchise leaves a gaping hole in my squad and in my heart.
DMF (reference - - Busquets: B+)
PETIT: B-
An average player for all intents and purposes. Interestingly, he positions himself like an Anchor Man despite his playstyle, meaning he stays at the back more often, which suits me just fine. His tackling is merely average; it's sometimes frustrating with him as I find him in good positions more often than most DMFs on this list, but he does so little when given the chance.
PIRLO: B+
Pirlo, Pirlo, why do you pains me so? I really, really liked Pirlo irl. So much so that I've written a long piece about him (and if you haven't done so already, I recommend giving it a read, as it is the piece of work I'm most proud of).
Months have passed and my review of him is largely the same. His defense sucks just as his stats suggest, and his passes and dribbles are not as perfect as his stats seem to suggest. On the other hand, he charges forward quite often and his runs are great. As a result, he's been scoring consistently in open play in addition to his deadly free kicks. His long range curlers from the edge of the box has also been a regular source of goals.
The Italian Maestro is an enigma. He is not your typical DMF. He contributes more offensively than defensively, so bear that in mind when you balance your squad. I would say he functions like a CMF/AMF in terms of offence vs defence.
IM PIRLO: A-
Apparently KONAMI must have read my article of base Pirlo and rewards me with an IM, coz that's the only IM I've got from the recent free draws so far.
Stats-wise, his IM version is nearly identical to his regular version when maxed. In play, IM Pirlo is visibly better at his defensive duties, although still way behind the usual standards of a typical DMF. Offensively, his long range power shots now find the target more often than they did before. Overall the way he plays feel the same, and the IM is just a minor upgrade. You're not missing out if you have the legend version.
CAMBIASSO: A-
A very defensive-minded player who arguably plays better as a CB. He's simply great at defending, very all-rounded in most defensive aspects. The problem with him lies in his lack of contributions to the build up play. He's usually unwilling to move, and that makes me feel I'm missing a midfielder to link up my play, consistently missing one passing option. Also when he decides to involve himself, his low passes (especially through balls) are nowhere as accurate as his stats would make you believe. Similar to Pirlo, he nails one half of the prerequisites for a great DMF, only to absolutely flop the other half.
As solid as he his, there are better DMFs out there so I'm not too sad to say goodbye to the Argentine.
INAMOTO: A
I was initially skeptical when KONAMI gifted me a GB legend; when I tried him out, I only regretted not having done so sooner. He's got a very balanced skill set that enables him to contribute in both defending and attacking. He's got good marking and tackling, can pass the ball well, and can score bangers from range. One of the main duties of my DMFs is to scoop up the loose ball after the opponent defence heads the ball clear in corners, and I notice Inamoto does this extremely reliably. His main drawback is his unimposing stature, meaning he gets outmuscled quite often and concedes possession.
VIEIRA: S+
If you have been in this sub for a while, you would have seen everyone sing praises about him, myself included. This legend deserves every bit of praise he gets, and he simply cannot be better. An absolute monster in defence, with an often overlooked eye for long rangers. The man once scored a hat trick during the first half of a campaign game. This truly extraordinary player proudly retains his position in the S+ tier club.
CMF (reference - - S.M.Savic / Kante: A)
SCHOLES: C+
In stark contrast to the next player on the list, Scholesy is often nowhere to be seen. Sometimes I even forget he's on the pitch. You read his stats and you think, I could do with a complete player like him, and then he turns out to be a complete....disaster. With his playstyle he hangs in the back, but he's terrible at tackling, man marking and headers. Passing play with him is a nightmare, he's either too slow or unwilling to move when he's on the receiving end of a pass. Even his trademark cannonballs are gone; I tried three shots with him just at the edge of the box and none of them ended up on target, and that was during an exhibition match at Regular difficulty. I was thrilled to see him in a GP box draw, and could not be more disappointed.
Despite my one-sided rants above, I'm perhaps in the minority among the sub when it comes to opinions on Scholes. u/big_rom9 once commented he also had problems playing IM Scholes at CMF, but eventually playing him well as SS. Personally yet to try this out, and if anyone has done so please share your experience in the comments! I've also read there's a rather large disparity between his IM and legend versions.
MATTHAUS: S-
The German has always been one of my top players, but his performance this year slightly dipped compared to previous years. His positioning seems a bit off, and his inability to withhold the ball under pressure has never been more apparent. Despite all that, he's still covering miles like the Kante meme, and his interceptions, passes and assists are still top-notch.
LMF/RMF (reference - - Asensio: A)
PIRES: B+
The Frenchman makes good runs, but does very little with it. His finishing is good but not great, and he can't really cross with his weaker left foot. He took a big hit when skill moves were nerfed, and he lost the means of cutting into the middle and score, like a reverse Robben in the left wing.
IM PIRES: A
The IM stat boost here really shows! His runs are much more effective thanks to the hefty boost in offensive awareness, and his finishing is considerably improved by his swerve and kicking power. Unlike his legend counterpart, Pires has become a real goalscoring threat, and defenders will be punished for leaving him alone.
NEDVED: A
I've always held Nedved in very high regard but lately his renowned long rangers have been lacking in accuracy. It is funny how most of his contribution is tied to his goalscoring; take that away and I'm still left with a versatile midfielder with an incredible workrate, but he's just not the same. He's an omnipresent passing option when your team has the ball, but he does little to help win possession back, so basically he's Matthaus halved.
BECHKAM (aged 27): A
Becks is a textbook example of a classic winger: he runs into wide spaces and crosses with pinpoint accuracy. Conversely, play him as a left CMF or left AMF (not many formations have those though), and be amazed by the accuracy of his curlers from range. I still get mad when I see him at DMF just for his OVR though. I toy around him when I see him at DMF in campaign matches. Not even Superstar COM can make him good there, and you know something's gone wrong.
PARK JI-SUNG: A+
The South Korean legend is undoubtedly the best Asian player in the game! He has so much in common with Nedved in PES18: endless stamina (I'm almost convinced his stamina is around 150, judging from his stamina bar at the end of a match), quick on his feet, close ball control, strong passing game, and incredible versatility. Don't let his measly finishing stats fool you too. I've been shooting with him from 20 - 25 yards from goal and getting used to see them fly in untouched. It really goes to show how unreliable stats are; or to look at it another way, how the performance of legends can really catch you by surprise!
AMF (reference - - Mount: B; featured Messi (no.10 campaign): S) (sorry I haven't been using a lot of base players as AMF)
VAN DER VAART: C
Dude's slow. Like, REEEEALLY SLOWWWW. His terrible attacking positioning also does not help at all. Despite his decent passing and goalscoring ability, Van der Vaart is a beaming symbol of a old-fashioned playstyle that has been rendered powerless by the current, physical footballing climate.
DECO: C+ (tentative)
Another AMF with terrible offensive positioning that I did not enjoy using. Deco's slowness is less prominent as he can dribble past defenders, yet that same defender will rapidly catch up and force Deco to pass the ball away. His passing and finishing is slightly worse than Van der Vaart. Notably, he is a rare AMF with the Creative Playmaker style rather than CN10. If you are a fan of that style you might want to check him out, but he's a hard no for me.
ONO: B-
I was surprised to see KONAMI releasing a 94-rated legend for free, but his stats wildly overestimates his ability on the pitch. He's just a normal midfielder that has above average dribbling, passes decently and nothing really impressive up his sleeve.
DJORKAEFF: B-
I used to think highly of him due to his excellent dribbling, but that aspect of him has been nerfed to the ground. Marseille Turn is like an open invitation for tackles, and finess dribbling without physicality to back it up is often disastrous. He remaining strength lies in his surprisingly clinical finishing.
You can probably guess I'm perfectly fine with him getting replaced. The problem is I already own every single legend AMF (I believe), so hopefully KONAMI releases somebody new straight at launch!
GULLIT: B+
If Gullit was just an AMF, I would rate him a B at most. Gullit's biggest strength is his versatility. He's a strong CF with a powerful right foot and great in the air. He's a good CMF/DMF with a strong tackling and intercepting game, coupled with highly effective finesse dribbling thanks to his physical strength. His performance is surprisingly consistent at CB, making tackles ably and great in the air. Did I mention he's great in the air?
NAKATA: B+
Nakata is a surprisingly effective attacker. For me, he plays his best games on either wing. If you have access to one of those rare triple AMF formations, play him on either side; otherwise, he's decent at LMF/RMF, but not as great in central AMF. The timing of his runs are excellent, and he can finish from range. His stamina also keeps him effective for the entire game.
IM NAKAMURA: A-
I recall seeing him in a box draw, and with mountains of GP to spare I decided to go all-in, only to get him in my second try. The renowned free-kick specialist is just as deadly in the game; not quite as godly as Becks or Pirlo, but still comparable with Messi in that regard. His finishing is quite strong in open play, and he's a technically gifted playmaker.
RONALDINHO (GB, aged 39): A
I originally thought of including him as a bit of a joke, and spent the cash to get him fully expecting him to be quite useless (look at what I'll do for you guys!). Turns out, Grandpa Dinho with the Nike headband is not to be messed with. In a world where Busquets can outrun Messi (a.k.a. campaigns), Ronaldinho still manages to outpace defenders with his speed bursts at a ripe old age of thirty-nine and sporting a rather large belly (irl). His long rangers are absolutely lethal. Unsurprisingly, his main drawback is his stamina not lasting the entire match, which is very understandable, to say the least. During the limited time he's on the pitch, his impact is quite remarkable.
ZICO: A+
I notoriously criticized Zico in one of my earlier entries, and since then the White Pele has been consistently improving. Like Nakata, he is most effective on the wing (wide AMF or SS), where his devastating runs and finesse shots are in full effect, and he avoids the amount of pressure he faces when he is deployed in the center.
RONALDINHO: S
If Ronaldinho way past his prime is that good, surely he should be great in his prime? Indeed he is unstoppable, being one of the best finesse dribblers in the game and a deadly eye for goal. He plays as well on the wings as he does in the middle, and when it comes to beating defenders, he has a vast array of options to choose from, be it dazzling dribbles or sudden bursts of speed. In terms of offensive skills, he is the complete package.
If I have one reservation about him, it is his inability to transform the players around him. He shines brightly on his own, but there's only so much a single player can do. He's not a gamechanger, if that makes any sense.
RIVALDO: S+
As someone once said, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get". And in the Brazillian's case, what I got was a perfect offensive player comparable to Cruyff, which are words I never thought I would attribute to a CN10.
Rivaldo is another example that demonstrates the inadequacy of stats in measuring player quality. Contrary to all common stereotypes of CN10s, Rivaldo charges forward all the time, whenever he gets the chance, and always with impeccable timing. His long rangers find the back of the net nine times out of ten. His amazing first touch is reminiscent of Cruyff, where he switches from the receiving end of a pass to a playmaking position in one swift, fluid motion. For those who are complaining about Cruyff being absent in the recent draws, Rivaldo was the next best thing.
Compared to the Dutch grandmaster, Rivaldo is definitely slower, but he makes it up with superior powerful shots. Either way, both S+ tier players have the transformative property that revitalizes the entire offence, bringing out the best in every attacker.
LWF/RWF (reference - - Sterling / Sancho: A; Messi / Ronaldo: S)
GIULY: B- (tentative)
In the short time since I've got him, he has yet to impress me. His picture shares an uncanny resemblance with the ex-Chelsea player Pedro, and the same can be said for his play. He's just a fairly average winger with decent speed and crossing, but he doesn't make intelligent runs as often as I would expect from a Hole Player.
He's another player to be replaced that I probably won't miss. Since the only eligible replacement so far is Figo, I'd say it's worth it to go for Guily if you haven't got Figo yet.
FIGO: S
Now that I've established how players like Nedved and Scholes, experts of their craft, can mess up their long range shooting all the time, the ability to reliably score from outside the box suddenly seem all the more valuable, and Figo does that masterfully with either foot. His long rangers (both power and finesse) are a joy, and his dribbling is elegant and effective. His versatility among the offensive ranks is remarkable. His movement off the ball and accurate passing also allows solid buildup play. He's a breath of fresh air in contrast to speedsters like Sane and Sancho, but this also means I had to adjust my play style to get the best out of him. Overall the Portuguese is a phenomenal winger.
SS (reference - - Dybala: A; Joao Felix: A+)
RECOBA: B+
A striker with a deadly left foot and incredible curl. Unfortunately, his passing is below average for an SS, and he has to be subbed after an hour or so.
I've had a decent time with him, but I'm not at all unhappy to see him get replaced. Several top-tier SSs are still missing in my squad and I'd be thrilled to get my hands on any one of them.
TOTTI: A
The Italian genius plays unlike any other SS on the list. He is considerably stronger than the rest, while his speed and dribbling is sub-par. To use him well, I had to rely on my passing game, which hasn't been the most reliable in PES2020.
BEBETO: A+
Bebeto wrecks havoc in dangerous areas with his runs, sensational dribbles and low centre of gravity. His ambidexterity makes him highly effective on either wing. He is also a great assister thanks to his One-touch Pass ability. His celebration never gets old.
MARADONA: S
I feel like I don't have to elaborate on the strengths of Diego Maradona. The reason he's not S+ is similar to Ronaldinho: the brilliance is in himself and himself only.
IM MARADONA: S
Maradona's free IM version is the most generous guaranteed player KONAMI has ever gifted for free. Despite inferior stats, his ranged shots curl right into the net reliably like his older counterpart. The increased pace and stamina of IM Maradona also balances out his weaker dribbling and passing. Overall the two players are similarly effective in my opinion.
CRUYFF: S+
Again, it feels silly to explain why the Dutch legend is S+ tier. He is simply the most complete attacker in the game with no apparent weaknesses. The kind of player to build a squad around and can turn the tide of a game.
CF (reference - - Auba: A-, Jovic/Kane: A; Haaland: A+; Aguero: S-; Mbappe: S)
YORKE / COLE: B-
The Man Utd twins play so similarly I've decided to group them together. "Adequate" is the word that describes them most adequately, pun intended. Both players are moderately strong, mildly clinical, somewhat quick and position themselves quite well. They have a bit of everything in a typical CF's skillset, but nothing stands out at all.
KLUIVERT: B
At least some clear strengths on this one. The Dutchman is splendid in the air. He's also one of the better dribblers among CFs. On the flip side, he seldom makes useful runs so he's almost restricted to the crossing playstyle.
MASSARO: B+
An often overlooked CF due to his low OVR of 89. His finishing is clinical, positioning is surprisingly solid and he has the strength to withhold the ball. He plays like an ambidextrous Giroud, though weaker in the air.
Since I've got most of the GB CFs, I'm not sure how I feel to see him go. It would be great if I get Inzaghi in exchange, but I believe I've already got all the other good ones.
KOLLER: B+ (tentative)
Aerially dominant just as one would expect of a 2-metre forward. He reminds me of playing PES on the console back in the old days in 2004-05, when crossing was basically OP with Chelsea/Inter. Any cross that reaches Koller basically guarantees a header on target, although the Superstar GKs nowadays tend to save most of those. His right-footed finish isn't half bad either. The best thing about him is his Super-Sub skill, which makes him a great player on the bench and nearly always in top form when subbed in.
SALAS: B+
Salas resembles a SS more than a CF. He's a great retainer and passer of the ball, and his finishing is exceptional; yet, he falls back to support the build up quite often, and he's usually not the one who makes the mazing runs that tear across defences. He mostly scores from one-twos or back passes from a holding forward, someone like his devastating Chilean partner irl. He excels in double CF formations, but don't expect him to perform well on his own.
ZAMORANO: A
Zamorano is an exemplary predator. There's nothing flashy about him, he just gets into the right position and scores. His finishing is top-notch with either power or finesse, despite his stats heavily leaning into the former. The reason he's not higher up on the tier list is occasionally he can be completely contained by a top-tier defender (e.g. Featured Koulibaly).
OWEN: A
You don't have to look hard to notice his uncanny similarity with Aguero. Both men are deadly strikers with low centres of gravity, devastating runs and clinical finishes. Owen's blinding speed looks good on paper, but in reality often does not work when he's being marked by a quick CB. He is often outmuscled during his runs and dispossessed by the slightest of tackles, so he desparately needs another CF / hole player / dummy runner to draw away pressure from him. However, with his top-notch finishing, he converts reliably when he's free from his mark. He is also a surprisingly strong assister.
ADRIANO: A+
The archetypal power forward with beastly strength, speed and shot power. Sadly, Adriano will never be S tier material when he consistently runs out of steam near the hour mark.
He's probably the closest to Ronaldo Nazario we'll ever get, and he will be sorely missed alongside Zanetti and Bergomi. I do hope I get a nice non-duplicate as replacement though.
BATISTUTA: S-
Among all the forwards on the list, Batigol is the most complete player and my go-to choice in single CF formations. He's like the Swiss army knife of CFs, he can do everything extremely well: he can score with power or finesse with either feet, he is a threat in the air, he has strength to retain the ball under pressure, he makes great runs and has enough stamina to last an entire match.
LAW: S
Law is OP in very specific areas: spatial awareness, runs and finishing. Basically like an ambidextrous Zamorano on steroids. What he does have is a very particular set of skills. Skills that make him a nightmare for all defenders alike. If there's a space in the defence or a loose ball around, he will look for it, he will find it, and he will score a goal out of it.
Like Zamorano, his playstyle is atypical and there's a bit of a learning curve. But when you eventually get past it, boy you are in for a ride.
Annoyingly, the AI often auto-subs him off for no apparent reason during half time despite he's still full of stamina. This only happens to Law and I'm still yet to figure out why.
ROMARIO: S+
A lot of people on the sub have recently got hold of Romario in the box draw, and have finally recognized the beauty of this endgame striker. He is simply the best at putting the ball into the net. His incredible speed, unyielding strength and remarkable finishing makes him the most consistent goalscoring threat in my entire legends squad. The more CFs I got, the more I appreciated how rare his remarkable goalscoring ability is. It's unfair but true that goalscoring is the first and foremost way a player can impact the results of a match, so I felt the best player in this department deserves a place in the prestigious S+ club.
And that is the end of my lengthy review! Hopefully this gives an idea of whether to go all-in for a box draw or not. Thanks for sticking with me to the very end! Cheers everyone!
...........Sad to see this end? Well let's keep it going with a bonus feature! The top 5 released legends on my wishlist!
  1. Del Piero
A potentially endgame attacker who's just as good at creating goals as scoring them. Looking forward to his amazing curved shots!
  1. Van Basten
Probably the best CF alongside Romario according to this sub, Van Basten's stats certainly live up to his hype, but we all know how dangerously unreliable stats are...
  1. Inzaghi
Surprised to see him ahead of MVB? Inzaghi is one of the rare legends, alongside Koller, to have the Super-Sub skill, and together with his permanent B condition he'll be constantly in top-form. His 99 attacking awareness and finishing also sounds like pure gold.
  1. Rummenigge
Hailed by the sub as the next Cruyff, I certainly had a hard time defending against him. He seems to be another true all-round attacker which can strengthen any squad.
  1. Lampard
Can you blame me as a Chelsea fan? He will always be a true legend close to my heart, and I am dying to experience his incredible goalscoring ability (please don't mess this up KONAMI, although from what I've heard on this sub he seems to be fineeeeeee). I once predicted him to be worse than Matthaus, but upon release Lampard seems even better! His Hole Player playing style and complete stats looks like my dream come true.
Having said all that, KONAMI wil likely stick to their trend of releasing new legends in 2021. There's already a plethora of attackers in the pool, so I desperately hope to see more representation among CBs (e.g. Terry, Cannavaro, Nesta, Ferdinand, Vidic), keepers (Yashin, Zoff, Banks, Schmeichel), full-backs (Lahm, Thuram, Neville, Cole) and CMFs (Charlton, Keane, Gerrard, Seedorf). It's also sad to notice not a single African have joined the ranks of Legends, even though there's a literal gold mine out there (Weah, Drogba, Essien, Eto'o, Toure).
And this really is the end of this piece, everyone. Not gonna lie, feeling a bit nervous as this is my first full post in months, but it's been fun writing once again. To new members of the sub, if you liked my content, there are more entries of the Maintenance Magazine just one search away. For now, my friends, stay safe, be well, and have a lovely maintenance day.
EDIT: if the data miners are right, looks like I'm getting no. 2 and 5 on my wishlist!
submitted by MarkLCM to pesmobile

6

I found a hidden compartment in my new house, filled with thousands of credit cards and one weird notebook.

It was a dream come true. I was finally a homeowner.
It wasn’t a mansion or anything, just a simple three bedroom craftsman a few miles north of the Seattle city limits. But it was mine.
I got it at an auction, well below market price. Apparently the previous owner had taken their life in the home, and not only could the state not identify the owner’s next of kin, they couldn’t even identify the owner. The deed was in a false name, and after some fruitless investigation the house was put up for auction by the state.
Strange circumstances for sure, but I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
There were, of course, plenty of little things to fix up and change around the house. Yesterday’s task was simple: Get my gaming rig on a wired connection.
The cable outlet upstairs was in the master bedroom, and so was the router. I had designated the bedroom next door as my office, and thankfully their closets shared a wall. So all I had to do was drill a tiny little hole in the back of the closet to pass the ethernet cable through.
When I pulled the drill bit out from the back of the master bedroom closet, however, I did not see the mid-afternoon sun I was expecting to shine through. I furrowed my brow for a moment, then concluded the closet door in the office must have just swung shut.
But it hadn’t. I stood in the office door frame for a while, perplexed, before I walked into the closet and examined the wall where the hole should be. I sat down on the floor, and knocked on the wall, listening to the hollow thud my fist made.
Of course, there just must be some hollow space between the closets! I sighed, and began to stand up to go fetch the drill. As I gently pressed my weight against the wall however, It moved and I felt the click of some hidden mechanism.
I stared at the little gap that appeared for a few seconds, unsure what to make of it. But sure enough, there it was before me: a hidden door. I pulled it open to find bins filled with various pieces of opened mail and neat stacks of credit cards in many different names. Sitting on top of it all: a simple lined notebook.
The notebook seemed like it hadn’t been used much, and only the first handful of pages were filled with a tight, tidy script. I read and re-read those pages three times before I put it down. It was utterly bizarre, and if not for the circumstances surrounding my house and the other items I found in that closet, I would have written it off as a flight of fancy.
This morning, I couldn’t get the story out of my head. So I decided to head down to this coffee shop with the notebook and my laptop, and transcribe the story to share it here. Maybe one of you can make heads or tails of it.
The story contained quite a few SSNs, which I’ve redacted just in case they’re real.

__________________________

Loretta Young. I squint at her sitting on a wrought-iron bench in the burning light of another summer day, and then cast a shadow over the dot-matrix portrait in the file spread out on my picnic table to get a better look. Sharp high cheekbones, hair pulled into a French braid so blond there’s no mistaking it even in grayscale. I can even pick up the distant look in her eyes and the low-cut collar of her sweater. There’s no doubt, there she is. Loretta Young: Age thirty-two, Social Security number XXX-XX-XXXX, 9012 Quince Lane. The time stamped next to her name gives me a good fifteen minutes, so I pour through her file.
My thumb runs along the familiar rough edge of the pages as I search through her shopping habits to find what I’m looking for. Her years melt away with her purchasing power, and finally my eyes catch those familiar italics in between an Ikea couch and a box of Trojan Condoms. “Lies about crying at movies out of fear of seeming cold to her friends.”
My stiff new clothes—courtesy of Adam Finch XXX-XX-XXXX, James Goldburg XXX-XX-XXXX, and Patrick Fisher XXX-XX-XXXX—are hot and scratchy in the June heat and I can feel the first bead of sweat tickling as it slivers down my spine. Having no other reason to wait, I begin my work.
Loretta is peeling an orange as I walk quietly towards her. She’s not supposed to see me. I was hired to be a phantom, a poltergeist. But I stopped caring years ago, so I take a seat next to her and smile.
“Hi there.” I say.
She glances nervously up at me and then down at the impossibly thick manila file in my lap before returning her eyes to her orange and replying. “Hello.”
I know she can feel my eyes on her, and I can see her muscles tense as she considers walking away. “Nice day, eh?” I ask. Her brows drop a quarter inch and her mouth pulls into a thin white line. I can see the muscles in her legs stiffen and then relax as she decides to tough it out.
“Yes, I suppose.” She rushes a segment of orange into her mouth and chews it slowly to keep her lips and tongue occupied. Her eyes are locked on her file, as if some part of her knows what it contains. “Working lunch?” She asks.
“Yes, you could say that. Who are you? Tell me who you are in a sentence.”
Loretta’s hand freezes halfway between the orange and her mouth, and she tears her eyes from the file to look into mine. I see my desperation reflected in her jet-black pupils. “Excuse me?”
“Just humor me, please?”
She bites her lip and stares at the orange. Hours seem to blow across the grass around us. “I… really need to get back to work. Um, have a nice lunch.” She stuffs the last of the orange into her mouth and clutches her purse to her chest as she stands. The orange peel dangles in her hand and she glances around, looking for the rubbish bin.
“Please, allow me Loretta.” I pluck the peel from her suddenly stiff hands. Her eyes go wide and she swallows, nearly choking.
“How do you know my name?”
But I’m already gone.
___
I stop at the Texaco station on 89th and pull Benjamin Lark XXX-XX-XXXX out of my wallet to provide my fuel. My life before The Fat Lady seems so detached and indistinct it’s not even a memory. When I try to conjure up my childhood all I can see are Happy Meals and Power Ranger Megazords. File after file, I searched for the italicized sentence, hungry, desperate for some sort of pattern or meaning. Eventually, every swipe of my debit card felt like a handful of dirt thrown on my grave.
It wasn’t long before I decided that the identities that passed through my hand every day wouldn’t be missed. Kyle Warner, XXX-XX-XXXX, was the first. “Beat his neighbor’s dog to death as a child.” The italics absolved me as I took his name and began opening accounts. Now I have an entire closet at home full of nothing but credit cards and uncashed social security checks.
Benjamin walks up to the counter and asks for a pack of Lucky Strike Filters. “They don’t make those anymore bud.” The clerk says. He takes a pack of Camels instead, punches his code into the pin-pad, and walks out the door.
___
I pull my car out onto the street and turn onto the highway, quietly reciting my litany from the top. “Loretta Young, XXX-XX-XXXX, lies about crying at movies out of fear of seeming cold to her friends. Steven Mercer, XXX-XX-XXXX, gives his family and friends hand-drawn cards every Christmas. Catherine Pook, XXX-XX-XXXX, blushes every time she talks to her cats. Joseph Gates, XXX-XX-XXXX, stole a pair of lacquered Chinese worry-balls from his teacher’s desk in the 8th grade, and gave them as a present to his mother out of guilt…
Jack is, as always, sitting at his desk on the spartan ground floor when I enter the building. The sickly-sweet smoke billowing out of his cherry-stained pipe forms a dusky cloud around his head that the dim fluorescent lighting of the windowless office cannot penetrate. I’ve never once gotten a clear look at his face.
I walk across the field of tight burber to his desk and slap the file down in front of him, gently laying the orange peel on top of it. “Here it is.” Before I can turn around I feel Jack’s cold and wrinkled hand press down on top of mine like a vise.
“Nope. She wants you to take it up to her yourself.”
I halt, confused by the sudden change in a routine so established it was a ritual. “She?”
“The Fat Lady.”
The Fat Lady?”
Jack’s leathery face pushes the cloud-front forward and I cringe involuntarily as he yells “YES The Fat Lady! Is there a god-damn echo in here?”
Everyone that worked for her had theories and stories; it was all we talked about in the minutes we spent together every morning waiting for Jack to come down the elevator with our files. But no one had ever actually seen her. That is besides, we all could only assume, Jack.
My heart races as I gather my wits to some degree and point mutely at the elevator. From within his vanilla cloud, Jack simply nods. I take back the file and the peel and walk slowly to the back of the room.
The rough beige doors slide closed with a loud clank, and I clutch the file to my chest, wondering which of the four floors The Fat Lady is on and more importantly, where all the buttons are. I can feel no movement, and there is absolutely nothing around me besides dingy painted steel. What seems like hours pass by before the doors slide loudly open again to reveal an impossibly large room filled with filing cabinets. I step out, immediately noticing the uncomfortably low ceiling. I return to the litany to calm my nerves. “Greg Jackson, XXX-XX-XXXX…” I halt, unable to remember the important bit. Was it something about his first car? Getting a royal flush at a Pai-Gow table?
I take a deep breath and look around. Sickly yellow fluorescents in the stuccoed ceiling light the room, and it is so large and so dim that I cannot see the other three walls. Thousands, millions, of beige five-drawer filing cabinets form row after row, like titan’s ribs thrusting up from the floor. Directly ahead of me is a ladder leading up into a hole in the ceiling that pours forth a bright, clean light.
‘Five, Four, Three, Two, One.’ My breath and heart slow and I do my best to assess my situation. Almost immediately I recognize the opportunity before me and set the file and the peel down on the floor. I walk to the nearest cabinet and pull open the third drawer up.
Michael Stravin, Louis Hearth, Allen Riker. I close my eyes and accept defeat. The files seem to be random, and there’s no way I could find mine before Jack comes looking for me. I laugh to myself, suddenly realizing there was probably no way I could find myself if I spent the rest of my life in this room.
I sigh and gather Loretta’s file and peel, walking calmly to the ladder. Placing the peel in my pocket and straining my jaw to hold the file between my teeth, I begin to climb.
My muscles are on fire by the time the light above draws near and I climb blinking and half-blind into The Fat Lady’s office.
I see her hand thrust in front of me from my right, its thick fingers curled along the edges of the pale white pillow of her palm. Understanding, I fish the peel out of my pocket and gently lay it down into her grasp.
My eyes adjust to the light as she walks to the other end of the room. Her body defies the word enormous, looking alien in its proportions. She wears a flowing white dress, embroidered subtly and gracefully, which somehow flatters her ample form. Her wrist is forever lost beneath the joining of hand and forearm, looking almost like independent parts held together and animated by magnetism. She glides across the floor with stunning grace, the subtle movement of the fat under her taught and unblemished skin belying impossible strength.
Before I can even open my mouth, she turns and shushes me, the air rushing out of her tiny doll’s lips like a hull breech and her steel-grey eyes broaching no argument. She comes to a halt in front of a table supporting a strange device settled into a nest of wires. The Fat Lady lifts the smoked-plastic lid of the device and places Loretta’s orange peel onto a shiny metal disk in the center of the contraption. Closing the lid, she produces a pocket-watch from somewhere on her person and stares fixedly at it’s ticking hands.
I can’t help but hold my breath until finally, her finger strikes a button to the left of the device, and she leans her head back and closes her eyes in apparent ecstasy. A tone begins to swell out from unseen speakers, joined by another, and another. The chord layers to an impossible complexity. Tears are welling in my eyes as the crescendoing wave of sound shakes my bones and overpowers the beat of my heart. I think I can hear a soft voice, layered upon itself ad infinitum, a lifetime compressed into a single note.
The Fat Lady’s breast trembles and swells impossibly as she drinks the sound in. And then suddenly it stops, leaving only the echo of a scream ringing in my ears. The Fat Lady smiles and softly exhales, opening her eyes. Sated, she walks to the other side of the room and delicately pulls a small platinum disk from a complicated turntable, slips it into a dust jacket, labels it, and places it on one of the shelves lining the walls of her office.
“I talked to her, to Loretta.” I blurt out without thinking.
The Fat Lady glides to the mahogany desk and sits down in her massive, plush chair before locking me in her eyes. “I know, it’s been accounted for.”
“And others, for years.” I add, unable to stop.
“Yes, them too.” She smiles. “How long have you worked here?”
“I… I don’t know.” I stammer.
“You have a question, don’t you? Something you want to know?” Her doll’s mouth tightens to a point.
“What happened to her, to Loretta?”
The Fat lady laughs. “You already know that.”
I do, I admit to myself.
“Be a dear and put that back for me, would you?” She gestures at Loretta’s file and pulls a large ledger from one of her desk’s drawers. “In the cabinet to the left of the ladder. They’re sorted by date.” Her eyes narrow and a smirk dances across the corner of her lip, then she lifts a pen from the desk and begins scribbling in the ledger, calling the audience to a close.
Slowly, I turn myself away from her and descend the ladder.
I open one of the cabinet’s drawers at random and begin thumbing through the files comparing dates. I find Loretta’s place, and then there it is, printed on a folder thinner than most in a neat courier font. My name. Loretta’s folder falls to the floor, and I rip my file from its place. I don’t even have to sort through the pages, the italics are right there at the top of the list.
Vanilla smoke stings my wide eyes and a hard, wrinkled hand plucks the file from my numb fingers. I turn around, but he’s already gone.
I close my eyes, and find the words burned into the blackness. ‘Desperately wishes he was something more than he really is.’
___
I rush blindly down the street to the pawnshop and Kellen Walker, XXX-XX-XXXX, buys a nine-millimeter Lugar. I get into the car and speed home, hoping I’m not late for my appointment with The Fat Lady.

__________________________

So that’s it. I’m not sure what it means. And it’s probably just a story some malaise-stricken identity thief cooked up before he decided to blow his brains out. But I figured it belonged here.
It’s funny, halfway through transcribing this someone sat down at the table next to me and started flipping through a thick manila folder, lol. If I were the paranoid typ

They’re gone. They were there a second ago and then I looked back to the laptop for just a moment and when I looked back they were gone.
Jesus, look at me. Jumping at my own shadow!

Except… the notebook is gone too.
What’s going to happen to me?
submitted by duketuring to nosleep