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Smartphone Hardening non-root Guide 2.0 (for normal people)

NOTE (June) 15/06/2020: r_privacy moderator trai_dep revengefully deleted my highly gilded 1.0 guide post before.
UPDATED 16/8/2020: Major edit, replaced closed source App Ops and Shizuku with AppOpsX (Free Open source) on F-Droid. This guide is nearly FOSS supported now.
UPDATED 17/9/2020: MAJOR EDIT, replaced closed source Access Dots with Privacy Indicator (FOSS) on Izzy's F-Droid repo. This guide is completely FOSS.
Hello! I am the founder of /privatelife . Finally my smartphone non root guide is back, and there are some big upgrades. I was taking time to test everything myself on my daily driver, so apologies for keeping everyone in the wait, but stability and ease of use is the important goal to strive in my playbook. Privacy must be accessible to maximum amount of people without being annoying or tedious.
A kind request to share this guide to any privacy seeker.

User and device requirement

  • ANY Android 9+ device
  • knowledge of how to copy-paste commands in Linux or Mac Terminal/MS-DOS Command Prompt (for ADB, it is very simple, trust me)

Why not Apple devices?

iPhone does not allow you to have privacy due to its blackbox nature, and is simply a false marketing assurance by Apple to you. Recently, an unpatchable hardware flaw was discovered in Apple's T1 and T2 "security" chips, rendering Apple devices critically vulnerable.
17/9/2020: Apple gave the FBI access to the iCloud account of a protester accused of setting police cars on fire.
Also, they recently dropped plan for encrypting iCloud backups after FBI complained. They also collect and sell data quite a lot. Siri still records conversations 9 months after Apple promised not to do it. Apple Mail app is vulnerable, yet Apple stays in denial.
Also, Apple sells certificates to third-party developers that allow them to track users, The San Ferdandino shooter publicity stunt was completely fraudulent, and Louis Rossmann dismantled Apple's PR stunt "repair program".
Also, Android's open source nature is starting to pay off in the long run. Apple 0-day exploits are far cheaper to do than Android.

LET'S GO!!!

ALL users must follow these steps before "for nerdy users" section.
Firstly, if your device is filled to the brim or used for long time, I recommend backing up your data and factory resetting for clean slate start.
NOTE: Samsung users will lose Samsung Pay, as Samsung has been caught and declares they sell this data: https://www.sammobile.com/news/samsung-pay-new-privacy-policy-your-data-sold/
  • Make DIY camera covers, for front camera notch use a tiny appropriate-sized thin opaque plastic cutout and use an invisible tape to stick it in place, replace every month (cost: tape roll and one minute of your time per month). My rear camera cover
  • Install F-Droid app store from here
  • Install NetGuard app firewall (see NOTE) from F-Droid and set it up with [privacy based DNS like Uncensored DNS or Tenta DNS or AdGuard DNS]
NOTE: NetGuard with Energized Ultimate HOSTS file with any one of the above mentioned DNS providers is the ultimate solution.
NOTE: Set DNS provider address in Settings -> Advanced settings VPN IPv4, IPv6 and DNS
  • In F-Droid store, open Repositories via the 3 dot menu on top right and add the following links below:
  1. https://rfc2822.gitlab.io/fdroid-firefox/fdroid/repo?fingerprint=8F992BBBA0340EFE6299C7A410B36D9C8889114CA6C58013C3587CDA411B4AED
  2. https://apt.izzysoft.de/fdroid/repo?fingerprint=3BF0D6ABFEAE2F401707B6D966BE743BF0EEE49C2561B9BA39073711F628937A
  3. https://guardianproject.info/fdroid/repo?fingerprint=B7C2EEFD8DAC7806AF67DFCD92EB18126BC08312A7F2D6F3862E46013C7A6135
Go back to F-Droid store home screen, and hit the update button beside the 3 dot menu.

LIST OF APPS TO GET

  • Get Firefox Beta web browser from F-Droid (install uBlock Origin addon inside (if technically advanced, try doing this)). Also get Firefox Klar if you like a separate incognito browser.
  • Get Aurora Store from F-Droid for apps from Play Store without actually using Play Store, use Anonymous option to sign in
  • for 3rd party APKs source them only from APKMirror OR APKPure OR APKMonk, quite trusted, BUT TRY AND AVOID IT IF POSSIBLE
  • Get Privacy Indicator from F-Droid for iOS 14 like camera/mic dot indicator feature
  • Get OSMAnd+ from F-Droid or Qwant Maps inside web browser for maps and/or print physical maps if you live and travel in one or two states or districts.
NOTE: Qwant Maps has better search results than OSMAnd+
  • Get PilferShush Jammer from F-Droid to block microphone (use this in malls, restaurants or such public places if you can to prevent beacon tracking)
  • Get OpenBoard (user friendly) OR AnySoftKeyboard (nerd friendly) from F-Droid instead of Google GBoard, Microsoft SwiftKey et al, they are closed source keylogger USA spyware
  • Get FTP Server (Free) from F-Droid and FileZilla on computer for computer-to-phone internet less file sharing
NOTE: for phone-computer sync or sharing, can TRY KDE Connect, available for Android, Windows, Linux
  • Get TrebleShot instead of SHAREIt for phone to phone file sharing
  • Get K-9 Mail or FairEmail as e-mail client
  • Get NewPipe for YouTube watching, or YouTube in Firefox Preview/Klar
  • Get QKSMS from F-Droid as SMS client app
  • Get Shelter from F-Droid to sandbox potential apps that you must use (eg WhatsApp or Discord or Signal)
  • Get SuperFreezZ from F-Droid to freeze any apps from running in background
  • Get Librera Pro from F-Droid for PDF reader
  • Get ImgurViewer from F-Droid for opening reddit/imguother image links without invasive tracking
  • Get InstaGrabber from F-Droid for opening Instagram profiles or pictures without invasive tracking (seems like a revived fork is here, thanks u/sad_plan )
  • Get GreenTooth from F-Droid to set Bluetooth to disable after you have used it
  • Get Material Files or Simple File Manager from F-Droid for file manager app
  • Get ImagePipe from F-Droid if you share lot of pictures, and want to clear EXIF metadata snooping (often photos contain phone model, location, time, date)
  • Get Note Crypt Pro from F-Droid for encrypted note taking app
  • Get Vinyl Music Player from F-Droid for music player
  • Get VLC from F-Droid for video player

CRITICAL FOR CLIPBOARD, LOCATION AND OTHER APP FUNCTION BLOCKING

I would say this is one of the critical improvements in my guide, and will solve the problem of clipboard and coarse location snooping among other things.
AppOpsX is a free, open source app that allows to manage granular app permissions not visible normally, with the help of ADB authorisation without root. This app can finely control what granular information apps can access on your phone, which is not shown in app permissions regularly accessible to us.
Now that you would have set up your phone with installing apps, now is a good time to perform this procedure.
Step 1: Install AppOpsX from F-Droid. (https://f-droid.org/en/packages/com.zzzmode.appopsx/)
Step 2: Plug phone to computer, and enable USB debugging in Settings Developer Options (you probably already did this in the starting of the guide)
Step 3: Keep phone plugged into computer until the end of this procedure! Open AppOpsX app.
Step 4: On computer, type commands in order:
adb devices
adb tcpip 5555
adb shell sh /sdcard/Android/data/com.zzzmode.appopsx/opsx.sh &
Step 5: Now open "AppOpsX" app, and:
  • disable "read clipboard" for apps except your messengers, notepad, office suite, virtual keyboard, clipboard monitor apps et al.
NOTE: Most apps that have text field to copy/paste text require this permission.
  • disable "modify clipboard" for every app except for your virtual keyboard or office suite app or clipboard monitostack special apps.
  • disable "GPS", "precise location", "approximate location" and "coarse location" for every app except your maps app (Firefox and OSMAnd+)
  • disable "calendar" for every app except your calendar and email app
  • disable "read contacts", "modify contacts" and "get contacts" for every app except your "Phone", "Phone Services", "Phone/Messaging Storage", contacts and messenger apps
  • disable all "send/receive/view messages" permissions for every app except "Phone", "Phone Services", "Phone/Messaging Storage", QKSMS, contacts, dialler and messenger apps
  • disable "body sensors" and "recognise physical activity" for every app except games needing gyroscope, or any compass dependent app like camera or bubble leveling app
  • disable "camera" for every app except your camera and messenger apps
  • disable "record audio" for every app except camera, recorder, dialler and messenger apps
  • disable all "Phone" permissions for apps except your SMS app (like QKSMS) and Contacts, Dialler and call recorder apps
  • disable "change WiFi state" for every app except file sharing apps (like TrebleShot)
  • disable "display over other apps" for any third party app not from F-Droid
  • disable "read storage" and "write storage" for apps except file manager, file sharing app and messenger apps
  • enable all permissions for "Phone", "Phone Services" and "Phone/Messaging Storage" system apps, critical for cell radio calling and sending SMS
Step 6: Profit! Now you can plug off phone from computer.
NOTE: Remember to use AppOpsX everytime you install a new app outside of F-Droid store, which is done not too often by people.

FOR NERDY USERS

  • Get App Manager from Izzy's F-Droid repo (here) to inspect app's manifest, trackers, activities, receivers, services and even signatures via Exodus Privacy built-in, all without root
  • Get Warden from Izzy's F-Droid repo (here) for checking loggers (rest app is inferior to App Manager)

HOW TO USE NETGUARD

By default, all apps will be blacklisted from WiFi and mobile data access.
If not, go to Settings via 3 dot menu Defaults (white/blacklist) Toggle on "Block WiFi", "Block mobile" and "Block roaming"
Whitelist your web browsers, messengers (WhatsApp, Zoom et al), file sharing apps, download managers, "Aurora Store" app and any game if needs internet and give them WiFi and mobile data access.
Also, whitelist "Downloads" and "Download Manager" as these are system apps that allow web browsers and other apps without built-in downloader to download files. Whitelisting this will keep apps and system stable.

WHICH PHONE BRANDS ARE GOOD AND BAD? (FACTS)

Now we will need to evaluate what manufacturers are relatively safe, no appeasing, I will be blunt. I will make tier lists to help. I will give explanation for each, so read before jumping with pitchforks.
NOTE: If you have anti-Chinese political allergy, kindly read facts, or choose the other non-Chinese options listed.
Tier 1: Huawei/Honor, Asus, Nokia, Motorola, Sony, LG, FairPhone
Tier 2: Samsung, OnePlus, Oppo, Vivo, Xiaomi, Realme
Tier NOPE NOT AT ALL: Google
FairPhone: Clean software, ethical, recyclable components, good phone but bit extra price for midrange hardware. Status: good.
Huawei: (still no evidence by US government after one year of market protectionism ban, contrary to what Sinophobic US propaganda and condemned joke research papers (refer to this for why), may make you believe, all countries except US, Australia, Japan and UK are allowing them for 5G participation, there is absolutely ZERO EVIDENCE against specifically Huawei (does not count other Chinese companies), earlier ironically audited by UK GCHQ to be safe and on any of their global devices, to date there has been no telemetry found IFF you do NOT use Huawei ID account or Huawei AppGallery store (as instructed above). I have an OpenKirin rooted unlocked Honor 6X, and now a locked P30 Lite to confirm this.
If Huawei's CEO is a former PLA technician, so do plenty US companies. What does it prove?
NOTE: Real reason for this propaganda ban is USA could not monopolise 5G unlike it did 4G, and so they are playing their cards to put China out of commission. And Huawei did not steal 5G from USA, since USA does not even have a proper 5G vendor yet.
To add, for the rest of world outside China it is better to own a device from a country which has no jurisdiction over them, and you can use their phones without Huawei and Google accounts very safely. BONUS: baseband modem not associated with NSA. Also, good cameras, battery, display and performance in general. Status: good.
Asus, Sony, Motorola: their software is nearly stock, and as such quite beneficial and peace of mind assuring. Status: good.
LG: less stock-y software, still good. Good cameras. display too. Status: good.
Nokia: a bit of skepticism here with them helping spy with nexus with Russia's MTS and recently found Chinese telemetry as well, but nothing that NetGuard cannot stop by blocking domains via HOSTS from interacting with your device. Status: Potential issues, can be mitigated.
Samsung: Multiple issues with Qihoo 360 on phones with IMEI MAC sent over HTTP, Samsung Pay selling user data with no optout till now, Replicant devs discovering backdoors, Knox hardware blackbox with no idea what microcode it runs, certification from NSA even worrying, lockscreen and notification ads in OneUI, ads on Smart TVs, this all accounts to being quite shady company, but Blokada or NetGuard can mitigate it. Status: avoid for other brands if possible.
Xiaomi: They have quite a bit of telemetry in their MIUI skin, similar to Samsung. Now they have tracking in Incognito Mode in their Browser as well. Status: avoid unless you implement my guide properly.
OnePlus, Oppo, Vivo: They have considerably less telemetry and ads, better than Samsung and Xiaomi. But they will start doing the same thing as Realme which I will mention below soon. Status: potential but passable for now.
Realme: They are implementing ads into their UI, which will soon come to Oppo and Vivo phones too, a bit of an issue. This allows for telemetry and tracking concerns. Status: avoid if possible.
Google: In general an evil megacorp, Titan M security chip is self-claimed to be great on Pixels, but there is no way to verify if the microcode it contains is the same as that open sourced by Google. Having faith in Google's promise of their proprietary closed source chip being clean is like having faith in cyanide not killing a person. Moreover, they are known as:
  • NSA partner and collecting data and spy on users in googolplex capacity
  • AI used by US military for drone bombing in foreign countries based on metadata Google collects on smartphones
  • use dark patterns in their software to make users accept their TOS to spy
  • repeated lies about how their data collection works claiming anonymity
  • forcing users to use their Play Services which is spyware and scareware
  • monopolising the web and internet via AMP
  • use of non standard web browser libraries and known attempts to cripple lone standing ethical competitors like Firefox and Gecko web engine (now with Microsoft making their default Edge Chromium-based too)
TL;DR there is no summary, privacy is an indepth topic and you must take a couple of hours to go through this simple guide, as long as it looks it should clear all your concerns with smartphone privacy.
This is the best you can do without rooting or modding a phone, and it is working for me since almost a year now, personally tested and verified on my locked P30 Lite.
I have a history of rooting and modding phones, one being an Honor 6X before Huawei disabled unlocking policy, one being a Xiaomi and one being a Lenovo before that. Also, one Samsung Galaxy S2 long time ago.
Credit to w1nst0n for the Universal Android Debloater (authorised me to use his tool). Hope this guide serves as a great tool for any privacy seeker.
submitted by TheAnonymouseJoker to fossdroid

7

Roleplay Test | 2020/09/10 | A Somewhat Successful Journey

Participants:
- Edvos
- Vidak
- Zenarck
- Delkyrith
- Wolvix
- Marisol
- Moon
Scenario:
You are knights to the Queen of High Rock. She has sent you to a nearby tower to vanquish the evil inside and retrieve her prized necklace, handed down to her through the generations. The necklace is said to have magical powers, and could be dangerous in the wrong hands.
- Knights (4): Wolvix, Vidak, Delkyrith
- Mages (2): Moon, Marisol
- Archer (1): Zenarck
- Peddler (1): Edvos
Aidan 8:32 PM
Your quest has begun. You have just left High Rock, and have made your way through an open field and now stand at a crossroads. On the left is a dark forest. On the right, a treacherous canyon. In the centre is a tall, unscale-able cliff. You must go left or right.

Turn 1
Pan | Marisol 8:34 PM
"The forest seems like a good choice. How do you all feel?"
Marisol looks to the group.
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 8:35 PM
"I'm all for the forest rather than a horrible death from a great height"
Moon 8:35 PM
"So, Canyon that is certain death or a forest we MIGHT survive... I would rather go forest"
Sovde | Edvos 8:35 PM
"My cart's certainly not going to make it up that cliff or down that canyon."
Gameboy | Wolvix 8:35 PM
Wolvix looks down both paths, all but the size of his beastial form hidden by his armor "...Canyon is easier to die to. The Forest is likely a better option."
Moon 8:35 PM
Moon looks exasperated at this choice
Vidak | Casrias 8:36 PM
"Forest seems the easiest."
Aidan 8:36 PM
Mostly in agreement, you head left into the dark forest. What could go wrong?
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 8:37 PM
Delkyrith: Well, here goes nothing...
Aidan 8:37 PM
You walk down the winding path, quickly realizing that you don't know which direction you came from. Fireflies light the forest floor ahead of you, seeming to lead you forward(?). You hear a rustle up ahead - some sort of creature, perhaps?

Turn 2
Sovde | Edvos 8:38 PM
"We can't be that far from High Rock, why is this trail so badly marked?"
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 8:38 PM
Delkyrith unsheathes her sword and softens her footsteps.
“... Do you guys all hear that? I’m a bit... Scared...”
Moon 8:39 PM
"Probably too scared to enter, knowing most of the people there"
Sovde | Edvos 8:39 PM
"Hear what?" Edvos grumbles
Pan | Marisol 8:39 PM
Marisol's eyes search and gather information of the forest, seeing the differences between the shadows, and the light. She notices the fireflies and softly smiles but she stops in her tracks when she heard a rustle.
"What..what was that???"
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 8:39 PM
"Well it is a Dark forest, what did you expect?" Draws out his bow as he hears a Rustling up ahead
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 8:39 PM
“The sound. I think something’s approaching...”
Gameboy | Wolvix 8:39 PM
Wolvix loosens the straps holding his sword and shield for better drawing as he turns his armored head to the peddler, Edvos "You have a lantern in that thing?"
Sovde | Edvos 8:40 PM
"Let me check."
Edvos checks his wagon for a lantern
Vidak | Casrias 8:40 PM
Vidak rests one of his hands on the hilt of his sword prepared to draw at a moments notice.
Moon 8:40 PM
Moon looks at Marisol. trying to not look freightened
"Well it could have been anything"
Aidan 8:41 PM
A large shadow jumps in front of you, up ahead. It's some sort of beast, and it doesn't look happy.
Sovde | Edvos 8:41 PM
Edvos picks up a dusty oil lamp from his cart, not noticing the beast.
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 8:41 PM
Delkyrith’s sword lights up with a slight glow - she’s dabbled a bit as a mage in her earlier years, and - to her surprise, a giant beast comes into view.
Aidan 8:41 PM
It looks like a wolf, with a lion's face and a dragon's tail.
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 8:41 PM
“Oh... Shit.”
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 8:42 PM
"Ah... Interesting Creature... Wow what a Beauty!!! You guys seeing this? This is a beautiful Species"
Sovde | Edvos 8:42 PM
"Here, this should work," Edvos says, turning around. "Wolvix?"
Gameboy | Wolvix 8:42 PM
Reaches back for his equipment, readying his sword in his right hand and shield in his left "Just keep it bright. This might get messy."
Aidan 8:42 PM
The creature slowly paces towards the group.
Sovde | Edvos 8:42 PM
"Oh, what in the blazes is that!"
Vidak | Casrias 8:42 PM
Vidak draws his sword, holding it in a two handed grip.
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 8:43 PM
Delkyrith readies her shortsword and pulls out a dagger, arranging the two in a defensive stance.
Pan | Marisol 8:43 PM
Marisol squeaks and takes a step back pulling out a small staff to summon strong roots and flora to wrap around the beast's feet to make it stop in it's tracks.
Gameboy | Wolvix 8:43 PM
Wolvix approaches the creature, placing himself defensively in front of the group. Waiting to react to the beast's motions
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 8:43 PM
"Hey Edvos, You have any food on you?"
Moon 8:43 PM
"Edvos, do you have any sort of food?"
Sovde | Edvos 8:44 PM
"Uh, y-yeah, got a few packs of jerky back here..."
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 8:44 PM
"Let's see if it'll take some Jerky"
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 8:44 PM
“We have a beast in front of us, and y’all are thinking about... Eating?”
Aidan 8:45 PM
Edvos pulls out a chunk of moldy jerky out of the back of his cart. The nearby fireflies instantly start to fly away.
Sovde | Edvos 8:45 PM
"I got this?"
Gameboy | Wolvix 8:45 PM
"Animals like food, it-.... please just chuck that."
Moon 8:45 PM
"Think the... thing... will eat it?"
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 8:46 PM
"Oh god... Anyone else have food?"
Pan | Marisol 8:46 PM
Marisol turns to stare at the peddler.
"....that doesn't look healthy at all..."
Sovde | Edvos 8:46 PM
Edvos hucks the meat full force at the beast
Gameboy | Wolvix 8:46 PM
Wolvix would facepalm if his hands weren't full
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 8:46 PM
Zen Facepalms instantly
Aidan 8:46 PM
The beast sniffs the jerky, recoils, and begins to growl. It's hostile.

Turn 3
Sovde | Edvos 8:47 PM
Edvos dives under his cart.
Moon 8:47 PM
Moon pulls out his staff ready to freeze the ground where it stands
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 8:48 PM
Zen steadies his bow, His other hand ready to draw an arrow
Vidak | Casrias 8:48 PM
Vidak sets into a defensive stance.
Pan | Marisol 8:48 PM
"..anyone feeling courageous today..?"
Marisol takes out a book to find a spell that wouldn't cause harm and a bright a idea pops into her head. She places the book away and attempts to recite a sleeping spell on the beast.
Aidan 8:49 PM
The spell does nothing.
Gameboy | Wolvix 8:49 PM
"Blighting idiots."
Wolvix moves forward, swiping his sword at the beast. He tries to keep his shield between him and the monster.
Aidan 8:50 PM
Wolvix lands a decent hit on the beast, swiping at its chest. It yelps in pain and backs up, snarling and showing its teeth.
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 8:51 PM
Delkyrith attempts to perform a dive-slash on the beast, leaping up onto a tree before landing onto it.
Aidan 8:52 PM
Delkyrith trips and falls and lands flat on her face.
Moon 8:52 PM
Moon remembers his frost spells and uses it to freeze the ground under the beast
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 8:52 PM
“Ouches-“
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 8:52 PM
Zen aims his bow and arrow on the wolf at the legs and fires
Aidan 8:53 PM
Moon accidentally freezes himself to the spot.
Vidak | Casrias 8:53 PM
Vidak rushes forward and takes a slash at the beast.
Pan | Marisol 8:54 PM
Marisol's confidence fades as she saw that the spell did nothing and sighs. She watches Wolvix make a decent hit on the beast. Her hands tightly grip onto her staff feeling on edge and then saw Delk land with her face on the ground.
"Hey Moon..we should make a spell to pro-...uhh. Let me help you with that."
She helps Moon to unfreeze himself.
Aidan 8:55 PM
Vidak drops his blade, punching the beast in the face. It's not phased, and bites his hand.
Zenarck lands a hit on the beast's back. It yelps in pain again.
Gameboy | Wolvix 8:55 PM
Glances around himself at this madness "...Are you guys past training?"
Sovde | Edvos 8:55 PM
"What training?"
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 8:56 PM
"At least I know my way around a bow and arrow, Thank you very much"
Gameboy | Wolvix 8:56 PM
"Not you."
Aidan 8:56 PM
Marisol manages to free Moon.
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 8:56 PM
“I didn’t want to be a knight, I’m just here because I didn’t have enough money to finish my mage academy training-“
Moon 8:56 PM
"Marisol, what if we did a combined spell to trap the wolf in a water bubble?"

Aidan 8:56 PM
Turn 4
Pan | Marisol 8:56 PM
Marisol ponders for a moment and looks back to Moon.
Sovde | Edvos 8:56 PM
Edvos rummages through his cart, looking for a bottle of alcohol.
Vidak | Casrias 8:57 PM
Vidak punches the beast in the face to try and get his arm free.
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 8:57 PM
“... Is the old geezer seriously trying to find a bottle? In the middle of a fight? What the fuck?”
Pan | Marisol 8:57 PM
"I don't think that'll be a good idea. What if we conjure an illusion to distract the beast?"
She hopes with that idea, it could help the group.
Moon 8:58 PM
"Maybe get the beast will follow the illusion long enough to escape?"
Aidan 8:58 PM
Vidak lands a good hit on the beast, freeing himself and scrambling to get his sword, which he picks back up.
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 8:58 PM
Zen takes another arrow and aims the bow at the wolf again and fires
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 8:59 PM
Delkyrith grumbles, before rolling to the back of the monster and performing a slash to its back.
Aidan 8:59 PM
Zenarck misses his shot.
Gameboy | Wolvix 8:59 PM
While the others deliberate among themselves Wolvix moves forward to slam his shield into the beast's face, stabbing his sword at the beast's neck with the rest of his momentum
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 8:59 PM
"Dang it"
Pan | Marisol 8:59 PM
"Let's try to make an illusion that'll distract the beast. Maybe it can distract it long enough. Ready..??"
She puts on a hopeful smile.
Moon 9:00 PM
"Ready!"
Moon smiles back and readies himself to make an illusion
Aidan 9:00 PM
Delkyrith severely damages the beast, sending it to the ground.
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:00 PM
“Ha! How’d ya like that?”
Aidan 9:01 PM
Wolvix slashes at the beast's neck, cutting it. The beast dies.
The beast slowly dissolves into liquid, forming a puddle of black tar-like liquid.
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:01 PM
"Don't taunt before it's dead, fool. Mages, you know anything about that thing?"
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:02 PM
"Well... That's lovely... Also very unusual"
Moon 9:02 PM
"... that is disgusting, and maybe"
Moon walks over to examine the liquid
Sovde | Edvos 9:02 PM
Edvos sets down his bottle and walks over to the puddle, kneeling down to look at it. He sticks his finger in it.
Pan | Marisol 9:03 PM
Marisol focuses intensely along with Moon to conjure up an illusion but looks up and notices that the beast has fallen.
"Oh...it has been slain. What on-...that's disgusting. Uh, that is unusual indeed."
Marisol approaches the puddle to wonder what it could be and examine it properly.
"Edvos??! What are you doing!"
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:03 PM
"Oh No Come on, don't be disgusting Edvos"
Vidak | Casrias 9:03 PM
Vidak looks down and sighs in disappointment.
Aidan 9:03 PM
The liquid has healing properties, and makes Edvos feel much stronger. It turns golden as it touches his skin.
Sovde | Edvos 9:03 PM
"OH!"
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:03 PM
"Wait What? That's unexpected"
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:03 PM
"Huh. Odd. Get some bottles for that, we ought to examine that back at base."

Aidan 9:04 PM
Turn 5
Sovde | Edvos 9:04 PM
Edvos runs back to his cart, grabbing an armful of empty bottles. He returns to the puddle and tries to bottle up the tar-like substance.
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:04 PM
“Come on, puppy. We beat the thing! Oh, and lemme get some bottles, old man.”
Moon 9:05 PM
Moon looks completely confused at this liquid, like what the actual fuck
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:05 PM
Delkyrith runs back to Edvos’ cart, grabbing a handful of bottles while humming a victory tune before trying to bottle up the substance.
Sovde | Edvos 9:05 PM
"Hey! Leave my cart alone!"
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:06 PM
“Aww, I wanna help...”
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:06 PM
Zen goes to pick up the two arrows he used in battle "No point buying new ones unless it's broken and snapped"
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:06 PM
Wolvix takes a bottle from Edvos and tries to scoop up some of the fluid while being careful to not let it into his armor. Talking to Delk as he does so "You know those are only rumors Delk. Do not insult me as such."
Sovde | Edvos 9:06 PM
"Come use these bottles, I'm saving the ones back there."
Pan | Marisol 9:07 PM
"Odd it has healing properties.? I never expected this from such beast like this other than a unicorn."
Marisol crosses her arms and agrees with Wolvix.
"Okay now where could we go from here since...we are in the middle of a forest, somewhere?"
Aidan 9:07 PM
Brief intermission between turns, we will return at 9:15pm EDT.
(Feel free to continue talking if you wish.)
Moon 9:07 PM
Moon grabs a bottle and starts bottling it up
Sovde | Edvos 9:08 PM
"Just stack them in that empty canvas bag in the cart when they're full."
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:08 PM
Wolvix ties a full bottle onto his belt and stands back up, looking around as he talks to the others "Still got that lantern? The canopy has left this area dark, might help see the trail that monster used."
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:08 PM
“Come on, why do you let those two help, but not me?”
Delkyrith pouts at the old man.
Sovde | Edvos 9:09 PM
"You can help, miss, just use these bottles over here."
Pan | Marisol 9:09 PM
"We aren't going to sell all of it right..?? Please?" Marisol looks with a curious and pleading gaze at the bunch.
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:10 PM
“Oh, uh, sure then!”
Delkyrith grabs a bottle from the cart and tosses a lantern at Wolvix.
“Here, this might help, Wolvix.”
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:10 PM
Zen Just stands near by while humming a tune (For Reference It's Eternal Wind from FFIII)
Sovde | Edvos 9:10 PM
Edvos rubs his hands together and murmurs: "This'll go for a pretty penny"
"CAN YOU STOP TAKING STUFF FROM MY CART LASS!"
"And you all can take a few filled bottles now, but I expect at least 50% of them to make it back to my cart."
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:12 PM
“I’M HELPING YOU WITH BOTTLING THE STUFF-“
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:12 PM
"You know that reminds me, Better check the cart for any moldy Jerky while I'm at it. I don't wanna be poisoned" Goes to check the cart for moldy food
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:12 PM
Takes the lantern and starts trying to light it "Don't throw glass, Delk. Gods above, who let you out of basic."
Sovde | Edvos 9:12 PM
"I've literally told you twice now that you need to use the bottles I've already gotten out of the cart!"
Vidak | Casrias 9:13 PM
just looks confused and disappointed.
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:14 PM
Shuffles through the bags trying to find any rotten food to be thrown
Sovde | Edvos 9:14 PM
"Not you too, lad! Get out of my stuff!!!!"
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:14 PM
"Also, Edvos, you are getting 20% at maximum. The rest is going to the crown."
Pan | Marisol 9:14 PM
Marisol approaches the elder peddler.
"May I please take one??"
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:14 PM
"I'm Checking for Rotten Food, I wanna make sure you're not trying to kill us"
Sovde | Edvos 9:16 PM
"Yeah, yeah, the Crown'll get their share. Just put em in my cart for now"
"Sure, each of you can take 1"
"And I've separated the rotten stuff from the good stuff already, Zen."
Vidak | Casrias 9:16 PM
takes a bottle for later use.
Aidan 9:16 PM
You move forward (again, ?), making your way down the path and out of the forest. Up ahead, you see the tower. A cliff stands in the way, but this one looks like it can be scaled.
Pan | Marisol 9:16 PM
Marisol takes a bottle and gives her thanks to the peddler.
"Thank you, Edvos."

Aidan 9:17 PM
Turn 6
Sovde | Edvos 9:17 PM
"You guys go ahead, I'll stay here at the bottom of the cliff with the cart and any supplies you guys want to leave here."
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:18 PM
"...You really want to deal with the wilds. Alone."
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:18 PM
"Hmm I think I have a rope on me, Let me check" takes off his bag and searches through it for a bundle of rope
Pan | Marisol 9:18 PM
"Wouldn't you want someone to stay with you or we can figure out how to scale the cart?"
Vidak | Casrias 9:19 PM
"We could probably get you and your cart up there somehow."
Sovde | Edvos 9:19 PM
"Well, it's not like I'm going back into that forest. I'm just sitting at the base of this cliff."
Pan | Marisol 9:20 PM
Marisol sighs but takes out her staff and attempts to cast a hovering spell on the cart.
Sovde | Edvos 9:20 PM
"Wait, hold up! That's my cart!"
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:20 PM
"You know If we all have long enough ropes between us we could make some kind of makeshift cargo lift"
Aidan 9:21 PM
Marisol lifts the cart up with her spell and manages to get it over the cliff. However, she accidentally topples it in the meantime, sending half of the items tumbling down to the ground. A few of the bottles full of healing liquid shatter, but Edvos manages to catch most of the important stuff.
Sovde | Edvos 9:22 PM
"You madwoman!"
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:22 PM
"Then I'm taking two more bottles as insurance. I'd like to be able to have some to use- Ah blight."
Moon 9:23 PM
"What if I used a teleporation spell to teleport us all over?"
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:23 PM
"Still taking two, better to spread them so that can't happen and break them- NO."
Sovde | Edvos 9:23 PM
Edvos sighs and begins to throw the less fragile goods up to the cart.
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:23 PM
"Great, Just great." Goes and puts the cart upright before realising it's already at the top
Vidak | Casrias 9:23 PM
"Well I guess we need to fixe that before we can get it up there.-Under NO CIRCUMSTANCE ARE YOU TO TELEPORT ME!"
Pan | Marisol 9:23 PM
"At least it's over the cliff!! I'm sorry!!!" Marisol looks at Edvos with a sad expression.
Moon 9:24 PM
"I could try to make a bridge then..."
Vidak | Casrias 9:24 PM
"Alright then, time to climb."
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:24 PM
"Screw this, I'm gonna climb this"
Pan | Marisol 9:25 PM
"Moon, what of conjuring vines to help the rest of us climb?"
Vidak | Casrias 9:25 PM
climbs the cliff.
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:25 PM
Heads to the base of the Cliff and prepares to climb it
Moon 9:25 PM
"Could work, if we do that we could catch people who fall"
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:25 PM
Wolvix shakes his head at the others, then turns to survey the cliffside to look for the best path up.
Aidan 9:26 PM
Vidak successfully scales the cliff.
Pan | Marisol 9:26 PM
"Very true. Try it."
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:26 PM
"Well no time like the Present" Proceeds to scale the cliff
Moon 9:26 PM
Moon casts a spell to grow vines up the mountain for people to climb up easier
Aidan 9:27 PM
Zenarck climbs up the cliff carefully and safely.
Moon wraps himself in vines, managing to shake them off.
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:28 PM
Wolvix moves to the best spot he could find and starts climbing the wall, sword + shield on his back.
Vidak | Casrias 9:28 PM
"This is why you never rely solely on magic, screwy things like this happen."
Aidan 9:28 PM
Wolvix climbs the cliff.
Sovde | Edvos 9:28 PM
Edvos, done with his throwing of goods, ties the rest in a bag around his waist and begins to scale the cliff.
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:29 PM
Delkyrith decides to climb the cliff, taking careful steps and reaches across the cliff side.
Aidan 9:29 PM
Edvos slips and falls, hurting his leg.
Pan | Marisol 9:29 PM
"Oh dear..." Marisol sighs and looks to the cliff worrying about falling off. Then notices Edvos falling and hurting himself.
"Edvos!"
Aidan 9:29 PM
Delkyrith climbs the cliff.
Vidak | Casrias 9:30 PM
"Edvos! you have any rope in this cart?"
Sovde | Edvos 9:30 PM
"OUCH!" Edvos checks his bag around his waist "There goes my delivery of strawberries."
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:31 PM
“Oh... Um, doing all right down there, old man?”
Delkyrith scales across the cliff, looking down at the old man.
“You guys got any ropes? I’m pretty good at climbing, and I could probably bring Ed back up.”
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:31 PM
"...THAT'S the delivery you were so worried about back at town???"
Vidak | Casrias 9:31 PM
searches the cart for rope.
Sovde | Edvos 9:32 PM
"Strawberries are expensive this late in the season!"
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:32 PM
“Hey, don’t be insensitive! Even small things have importance to some people!”
Pan | Marisol 9:32 PM
Marisol helps Edvos off of the ground and looks up the cliff again.
Aidan 9:32 PM
Vidak pulls out a stringy rope. It's tattered, but it *might* work.

Turn 7
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:32 PM
“That rope’s not looking very good...”
Vidak | Casrias 9:33 PM
"....Edvos! Why is your rope terrible?"
Sovde | Edvos 9:33 PM
"No comment!"
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:33 PM
"Oh god, That doesn't look like it'll last long"
Sovde | Edvos 9:33 PM
Edvos tries to walk back to the cliff face but winces with each step
Moon 9:33 PM
Moon looks at Marisol and Edvos "Want to try teleporting?"
Pan | Marisol 9:34 PM
Marisol shakes her head. "No! That is unstable!"
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:34 PM
“We can try tossing him up the cliff side!”
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:34 PM
Wolvix moves to stand way back from the edge "I'm not getting tele-fragged."
Sovde | Edvos 9:34 PM
"Last time I tried that, my entire bag of potatoes sprouted. Couldn't sell em anymore. Waste of money"
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:35 PM
"Well Guys I think we may need to figure out how to save them if it goes wrong"
Sovde | Edvos 9:35 PM
"Just toss down that rope."
Vidak | Casrias 9:35 PM
"Just fix Edvos and climb like regular people please?"
Moon 9:35 PM
Moon tries teleporting himself up the cliff
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:36 PM
Delkyrith throws the rope down, motioning for Edvos to climb up.
Aidan 9:36 PM
Moon teleports himself twenty feet up into the air.
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:36 PM
"OH SHIT"
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:37 PM
"Someone's magical circuits decided to be an ass today."
Pan | Marisol 9:37 PM
Marisol attempts to conjure a spell to make the earth below Moon become water.
Aidan 9:38 PM
Marisol creates a magical waterslide, catching Moon and carrying him up to the top of the cliff. It also carries herself and Edvos up, as well.
Vidak | Casrias 9:39 PM
"Moon?"
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:39 PM
"... Oh, how I wish I was back in mage academy right now..."
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:39 PM
"Holy Shit!!! Marisol that was epic"
Sovde | Edvos 9:39 PM
"I'm drenched! Oh, this is going to be miserable."
Moon 9:39 PM
"... Worth"
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:39 PM
"...You know what, I'm just glad you didn't manage to obliterate yourself. Good work Marisol."
Vidak | Casrias 9:39 PM
cuffs Moon upside the head lightly.
Pan | Marisol 9:39 PM
"YOU'RE LUCKY THAT WORKED!" Marisol barks at Moon
Aidan 9:40 PM
Managing to get themselves out of that situation, the group carries on to the tower. They arrive. There is a large door that serves as the entrance; it's closed and locked.
Sovde | Edvos 9:40 PM
Edvos peels off his wet shirt, throwing it in the back of the cart.

Aidan 9:40 PM
Turn 8
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:40 PM
"A door, huh..."
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:40 PM
"OK! New Rule! Moon is not allowed to cast spells by himself without Marisol around"
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:40 PM
Wolvix looks up and down at the door, before tilting his head back to marisol and speaking "Can you test for any magical traps on this thing?"
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:40 PM
"I'm going to do a pro magus move and slice the lock with an enchanted sword! Now on 3, 2, 1..."
Aidan 9:41 PM
(It's internally locked.)
Sovde | Edvos 9:41 PM
Edvos tries to read the scratched-out address to the side of the door. "I think this is where the strawberries were supposed to go..."
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:41 PM
"Guys Out of the Way, Let me try and picklock this lock" Pushes everyone out of the way and proceeds to picklock the lock
Pan | Marisol 9:41 PM
Marisol nods feeling a little surprised that such spell worked. "Thank you. Now..anyone know lock picking? Ah, okay."
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:41 PM
Delkyrith's sword glows with a green light, and she slams it onto the door with a heavy swing.
Aidan 9:43 PM
Delkyrith's sword bounces off the door, smacking Zenarck in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious.
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:43 PM
"....... That was just a fluke! A fluke!"
Vidak | Casrias 9:43 PM
"Edvos, do you have any skeleton keys in there?"
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:44 PM
"...Delk do you remember who allowed you to be a knight?"
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:44 PM
"I told you, I'm only here because I need more money for mage academy-"
Pan | Marisol 9:44 PM
"....." Marisol blinks several times to what just transpired. Then checks and helps Zen if he is okay and uses a bit of the black liquid on Zen.
Sovde | Edvos 9:44 PM
Edvos pulls out his key-ring, full of random and mismatched keys, likely ill-sourced. He looks for one that would fit the lock.
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:45 PM
"You were part of this assignment somehow. I sent the word of her lady the queen for knights."
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:45 PM
"... Well, I think they made a horrible decision. I have no idea how I got in."
Aidan 9:46 PM
Edvos immediately finds a key that fits the lock, unlocking the door. It swings open.
Sovde | Edvos 9:46 PM
"Knew I had it somewhere."
Aidan 9:46 PM
The liquid works on Zenarck, waking him up.
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:46 PM
Wolvix sighs "I am going to figure how that happened later. Really need to talk with her about the schools."
Grand_Zenarck | Zenarck 9:46 PM
"Ok First, OWWWWWW and Second, What the hell Delk?"
Xalneriva | Delkyrith 9:47 PM
"... Can we, like, not talk about what just happened? I swear, I'm sorry, I... Can't afford a criminal record when I reapply, please!"
Aidan 9:47 PM
You make your way inside the tower. A large spiral staircase greets you. However, Edvos and Moon both have vertigo.
Gameboy | Wolvix 9:47 PM
"I never said anything about crime."

(Continued in comments)
submitted by NintyAyansa to theworldofchertia